01. the safe is at mom's old house behind that painting of a girl with a set of tits and a pussy for a face. i knew you'd never touch that one.

02. you'll have to figure out the combination yourself, you know.

03. hint: it's not 696969 this time.

04. you remember marcia? you were right all along, i was sleeping with her.

05. that's right, i was gettin' jiggy with some serious black ass, yo.

06. more than once.

07. oh, don't pretend to get mad. it's no BIG SECRET you were fucking chad.

08. but i mean, hell. chad. oh, chaa-aad. he flexes his abs for the mirror every morning for crying out loud. he sports a ponytail.

09. that's just so pornstud.

10. squeal like a pig.